NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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