I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
