Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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