none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
