Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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