i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
