Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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