Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
