I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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