Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
