Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
