Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
