I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
