I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
being pregnant is like rehab
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
