piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My balls are so social today.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
