atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
