I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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