3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
