drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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