Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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