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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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