I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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