Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am available for nakedness
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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