do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
