I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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