walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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