you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
