Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the day after is always just damage control
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
