pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
