So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
