So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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