i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
