I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
