We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
