apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
