If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
