You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
