We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Can Purell be used as lube?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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