College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
