ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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