Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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