I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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