This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
