How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
