hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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