Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
