As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
