just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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