He kissed a someone with a penis
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
