I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
