I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
